Surrender (Fall 2012)

Deep within my heart there lies a stone

that anchors me and holds me close to home

and when my aching spirit starts to roam

I grasp for it to feel I'm not alone



To feel -- to feel, a verb I know too deep

I feel intensely even in my sleep

And when I wake it's hard to start again

the walls that guard my heart are much too thin



I wonder what is heart, and what is mind

and if there's peace within that I could find

or if I'm ever grappling, ever lost

my will and joy numbed, deadened by this frost



I know it's just illusion. You're the Mind

that conquers brain and elevates my soul

your Reason whispers, strokes me - I unwind

despite myself. To be made whole



Is what I yearn for, cry for, and to feel

my breath and body's substance - what is real?

What is life? This darkness and this light.

And what is faith? Surrender from the fight.



I know that you are here, but where am I?

Seeking what's human, mouth to mouth and eye to eye.

My path's been trod and overlain with stones

Yet there's an ageless fire in my bones



That won't leave me to fall among the rocks

and though my soles are scuffed, my garments torn

my soul won't die. I wait to be reborn

and to undo these ties, to force these locks



I'll throw them to the bottom of the sea

And cast away what keeps me from you, light

that spreads in darkness, lives in me

consumes me, birthing morning from the night.